i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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