Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
