I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
