We're like a lot better than the average bears
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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