And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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