reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
