You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
