did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
