Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
