She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
