We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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