You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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