Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
