sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
