break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
