I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just blew my weed a kiss
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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