i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I could fuck to npr.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
