I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I understand Curling. That high.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
