VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
