You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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