Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
