I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
