If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
PANTIES FOUND
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