im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
