So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
