I'm laying in your front yard are you home
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
