Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
