im having a threesome with these popsicles
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize