It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
