garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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