I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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