Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
