Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
