You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I supernannyed him into submission
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
