Define "chronic" masturbator.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
