You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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