I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
