Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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