he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
