Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you mean i was at the winter classic?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
