Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
