We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
