their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
