Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
