Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
