I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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