ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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