doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so let's talk penis.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
