Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
