I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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