you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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