I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
