In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
