Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
