I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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