it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
