So drunk, too bad you don't want this
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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