i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Less talking, more tequila
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
