What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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