This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
