I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I love you. Go after that dick
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I wear drunk well.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
