At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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