its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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