So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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