I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize