Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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