i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
