hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
