I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
