Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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