I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
