I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
